Gas is the biggest pain in the —gut. When my spinal cord first started atrophying, I began building up gas. I just knew I had a tumor in my abdomen. It turned out to be – gas. That was over two years ago. I even went to the emergency room one time. But this was before I knew what was going on. What a strange time that was for me.

When I was first diagnosed with Myeloma, I was too busy worrying about my finances that I had very little time to worry about the cancer. By the time I got my financial situation pretty much squared away, I have been so fixated on the pain and discomfort this spinal cord damage causes that I rarely think about my Myeloma.

I’ve yet to figure out whether that is a good custom paper thing or not.

Bottomline, I must be doing good because at my six month teeth cleaning, my dental hygenist said that she thought I was getting around & looked better than ever. If you’d ask me, I’d say I was in more discomfort and pain and was having a little more difficulty getting around. My spirits seem to be Okay, though. God, wonderful children, family, and Sisters-in-Christ do wonders.

I’ve not changed my sleeping, eating, or activity patterns, so I don’t understand why I seem to have more pressure down there, but I do. I’m fairly sure it’s gas. I know, I know, you’d think I would know whether it’s gas or not. But I don’t. This “gas build-up” doesn’t really escape all that obviously. The obvious, you’d think, would be that I would “pass gas”, but I don’t…really…at least to my knowledge. Put it this way, the pressure doesn’t match what output, if any. (That’s about as delicate as I can put it.) How humbling it is to come down to this….oh well…such is life.

But why I keep changing my sensations and symptoms when I’ve not changed anything else is mind-boggling. But as I write this I do recall mentioning that thought to my physical therapist. While I do not remember his explanation, I remember that he was not surprised that with a spinal cord injury sensations change.

When I was first diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, that ugly “cancer” word, I imagined such an evilness inside of me. I was so eager to put more evil (medicine) inside of me to kill off the evil cancer. For a long time – and even still – I did’t recognize my body any longer. It’s no longer “mine”. Cancer does funny things to both our bodies and our minds, I guess.

Probably since I have spinal cord damage, along with the painful sensations, I’m especially prone to feeling like a stranger in this body. When anyone who’s had cancer feels any new sensation in his or her body, I think it’s normal for that person to immediately suspect it’s the “cancer” causing the symptom. So, when I feel more gas or pressure, I think I’m dying. It’s so silly, but I know quite normal.

For around $25 Wal-mart has this little thing with pedals. I’ve used it about four or five times. For about five days in a row I pedaled for 5 minutes and then did some upper body exercises with light weights. The last few days I’ve felt a little yucky, so backed off. It’s that darned GAS!! I know movement produces gas, but this pressure almost prevents me from moving! Persistence….ugh! It was so much better when I could jog. I miss those days so much.

One day I enjoyed my patio for a couple of hours in the morning with a cup of coffee and Scripture & devotional reading. It sure made a difference in my outlook.

I dread the upcoming changes in our Healthcare system. What a time to get sick. This is such an irritation, but I know I’m best to not let it overtake me. Politicians after power and trying to “fundatmentally change” this country irritate me to no end. I must remember that they will someday answer to their evil deeds. Why we couldn’t just fix the problems rather than do a complete overhaul is beyond me. It’s never as it seems. No, if it was for such noble causes, then those designing the changes for us “serfs” would apply the changes to their own healtcare – but no, their care will remain better. They had the chance to receive the same care pushed off on the rest of us peons – but they’d have none of that.

The young and those with no experience with an illness and decent insurance coverage don’t understand; they hear “free” and “for all” and they are sold. While improvements are definitely in order, anyone who’s had private health insurance and experienced a major illness will know they’ve been robbed. For all the propoganda out there about private health insurance, I’ve experienced illnesses that total cost was well over $80,000 and my total cost was well under $300, if that much. Now that I’m forced on Medicare, it is horrible. It pays for less procedures or treatments and for what it does cover, it covers less. Thank God my private insurance (from my employer) is still my secondary insurance and picks up what Medicare doesn’t. Still, since Medicare must be my primary, then I have worse coverage. When I worked, benefits were important to me. I intentionally worked hard for a company where I received decent benefits. Anyone has that choice. And for those who don’t or can’t do that, then there are options and things to do to assist the smaller percentage of people needing help. But to overhaul the entire system rather than fix simply the “broken” piece is ridiculous.

I think Private insurance – competition – makes for better service. What these people are thinking to turn our lives over to a beauracracy – is beyond me. I’ve come across a few people who immigrated here from the U.K., and one said, nearly true to quote, “Whatever you do, DON’T do this Obamacare!” Then she proceeded to tell me about her sister’s care in the U.K. compared to hers here in the U.S. If someone from the U.K. reads this, I’m sorry and I don’t mean to be offensive. I am stating “my” experience, and that’s all I can do.

But I’ve come to the conclusion, I’ve reminded myself anyway, that God is in control. All I can do is vote and share what I know and think with others. Other than that, it’s best to go with the flow of things as best as one can do.