Cindy’s Multiple Myeloma Blog

I am getting somewhere, though I think I may find myself very close to where I left off..only with a better sense of direction.  Still, the journey feels better this time. 

My cancer (Multiple Myeloma) is smoldering; it’s low enough that it does not require any treatment.  I think I read in the doctor’s notes that they consider it Stage I.  At one time I was considered Stage III.  I may be misunderstanding something, so that will be a ggood question for my oncologist, whom I don’t see until May. 

I saw my urologist.  My bladder and kidneys look fine on the CT Scan.  I asked him to look for something, even if it’s beyond my kidneys and bladder.  Dr. F  feels like when I say something is wrong, then something is wrong.  That makes me feel good to have a doctor who respects me that much.  Anyway, I’m supposed to make this entry ‘brief.’

Dr. F compared the CT scan he took last week to the one in the hospital that was done in January when I was in the hospital.  He said there was a ‘cystic mass at the anterior parrt of the head of the pancreas.’  It was missed in January but he said it was hard to see.  Whatever.  It’s also most likely a Red Herring and nothing, but it is an excuse to go in there and check things out.

I had an Endoscopy/Colonoscopy last Friday.  The colonoscopy was fine.  The Endoscopy was fine, and a biopsy is being done on the cyst.  I have not received the results yet. 

I see the neurologist I’ve been wanting to see tomorrow! I am really looking forward to that because he is not only very good at what he does, but he’s also known for having a very good communication style with his patients.  I need that type of doctor for a change. 

I did a two day prep for this procedure to ensure I was emptied out.  Upon cleaning myself out, I still felt like I was sitting on something.  This tells me that my nerves are extremely spastic down there and while I feel that pressure, it doesn’t always mean that I’m….full. 

Without going into a bunch of mumbo-jumbo here, I’ll wait until I’m more awake and have more information.  I just am relieved that I’m narrowing it all down.  I’m finally getting to that spot where I will have a better idea what I’m dealing with and hopefully how to deal with it.  I’m anticipating a new recipe of meds. 

On another brighter note, my oldest son had his first child, a son.  This is my second grandson.  This is something else I want to address.  Where I was once looking at what I can do, I’ve found myself focusing on all that I cannot do.   While I do have some bum things going on, I am still blessed.  It’s just that at one time I had so much strength and so much to give.  Now I feel so empty and helpless in ways.  Hear me readers, I know that is so untrue.  I know that I not only still have much to give, but  perhaps even more, more that matters even.  It’s just another challenge in life and I think it’s important to identify, express, and share with you.  When we get ill and our lives are changed so drastically, there is certainly many paths one must travel and survive to the best of our abilities.  I’ve regressed a bunch, but I think I’m at that point where I can choose which path I want to take…land it’s certainly not the path that I seem to have headed down.  I intend to turn back and go forward.  More on this another day, another time. 

Funny as I write this part…and I mean FUNNY.  I usually watch FoxNews 24/7, but I currently have Animal Planet on.   Just as I describe that I’m in a challenging spot, I’m watching this show called “Trapped Under a Boulder.”  It’s from 2006.  This guy is trapped under a boulder in a stream waiting for help.  He’s alone and cannot feel his foot.  There’s a big crawfish or whatever that is  pinching away at his toe!!  It’s cutting it even!  He’s saying how bad his luck is anyway, but then to have this!  He is able to get a stick and whack it away.  Maybe you have to see it or I have to describe it better, but talk about being in a bad spot!! 

Oh, in February my new PCP (primary care physician) recommended I get on an antidepressant.  I filled the prescription but decided against taking it until after I see what my neurologist comes up with.  Why put more drugs inside me that perpetuate my condition? 

Tomorrow is the first day of what I feel will be resolution to my current most troubling pain/discomfort.  I may not ever feel great, but I will at least know what I’m dealing with, maybe even know why, and will have a plan to work on with a good doctor. 

That’s all I ever wanted.

This entry was posted on April 14, 2009 at 11:00 pm and is filed under Doctor Appointments, Regular News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.