Cindy’s Multiple Myeloma Blog

Dennis, the PT, came by for his second visit with me.  It went better than I expected and he added a few more good home exercises and pointers.  He thought I was doing great and thought maybe we might just have a phone-exit-interview this Friday.  Good. 

I will see what the doctors (neurologist/neurosurgeon) recommend as far as further PT at some local place.  It might be worth considering if it helps me gain more balance and strength.  Of course I prefer the convenience of home, but I must do all that I can do to remain strong and independent and healthy.  So far so good.  Listen to your doctors and therapists as much as reasonable. 

I  am either adjusting to this funky feeling in my body with all of the numbness or I may be improving some.  I keep thinking I’m gaining a little more feeling in my private area.  If so, it’s just a little, but nerves are slow. 

I  also must remind myself that I’m still a mystery.  They don’t know exactly what is going on; they’re eliminating and diagnosing by backing into it.  I had the C5/C6 fusion thing, I have the T-8 dead tissue stuff…suspecting from radiation 2 years ago, and then I have peripheral neuropathy.  That is three things I know I have going on, so lots can still change.  Patience.  Hope.  Try. Effort.  Attitude. 

Priorities, too.  I’m ready to move into assisted living as soon as this place sells.  It feels right.  I have to focus on taking care of myself in the safest and most reasonable way…and a way that is less burden on others.  I’ve finally come to peace with that and feel very good about it. 

Tomorrow I see Dr. D. (oncologist).  I’m not sure what to expect.  I’m not sure about where my cancer is.  I haven’t even thought about it.  I don’t know what I’ll do if I need to begin treatment on it.  The numbers were creeping up just before this started, but my numbers were still in a low range not to cause reason to start treatment.  I just hope the MM stays at bay for just a little longer anyway, at least until I get all settled into this new me. 

Would it not be something if my MM just stopped for a while and all I had to deal with was this numbness/weakness/paralysis or whatever the heck it is I’m having?  

All I can say is that I truly understand what was meant when they said you just never know what tomorrow may bring.  I’m glad my mother taught me how to survive so well, because I credit a lot of my inner strength of survival to my mother.  She taught me something very important and I will always be ever grateful to her for that.  I miss you, mama. 

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