Cindy’s Multiple Myeloma Blog

I was in the hospital from 5/18/08 and discharged 5/30/08, Friday night.  Though I had numerous tests, etc., my diagnosis is more of a diagnosis of eliminating things.  I have a spot on my T8 where I had readiation therapy in 12/05 for a lesion (tumor).  I had kyphoplasty on it 4/06.  There does  not appear to be any live myeloma going on; it appears to be dead spinal cord tissue, dead nerves.  The area from my T2-T10 showed some difference since my last MRI, I think in the fall of 2007.  They say this kind of damage can occur about 18-24 months after radiation.  I must be in that small percent. 

The MRI I had Thursday before leaving, did show a decrease in edema (swelling) in the area of my spinal cord.  Unfortunately, it hasn’t given me any better sensation.  This numbness is maddening.  I can feel from my waist down, but my toes feel like they are alseep and touching each other.  They hurt.  I can stand the tingly feeling in my legs, but the numbness in my hips and private parts is also so very uncomfortable. 

I’m back on steroids for a while, so I’ll be battling the weakness to leg muscle they bring.  But still, being home now and having to do laundry, take care of the pets, etc., will have to help me maintain if not regain some strength.  I’ve been laid up in the hospital for nearly 2 weeks and then the week before that on a trip where I couldn’t really do much.  So I have to improve.

Tomorrow a Home Health Rehabilitation like person will come here to assess what I need as far as getting around.  Deep down I know I’ll learn to adjust.  I think I’ll even improve some.  It will just take patience, trust, perseverence, hope, try, and time.  I keep reminding myself there are those who have it worse  I can at least move yet.  I can feel, though it’s weird.  I can.  I can.  It’s not the cancer, so far anyway.  Is it sick to say that I have found myself a few times just wish it were the cancer and would  take me?  I think that for moments only.  It’s just such a fight sometimes and there’s so much to it.  So many people have to help me.  It’s just complicated at times. 

But it’s early.  I’m not down, though it might sound it a bit.  I’m just expressing honest thoughts that anyone in my place would think. 

Yesterday was my first day home and I did lots of laundry and got my home back in order.  Today I’m relaxing in bed. 

I’m on watch & wait to make sure this numbness plateaus and doesn’t get any worse.  The doctor said that may take several months to just watch.  I did have that “fat pad” test Thursday checking for Amyloidosis.  I doubt it’s that, but it’s just one more thing to eliminate. 

That’s it for now. 

Filed under: Multiple Myeloma and