Cindy’s Multiple Myeloma Blog

I can’t believe it.  I entered a complete, long, rambling entry and somehow deleted it all.  SATAN!! 

First about Medicare D.  It’s very disappointing and a bit alarming looking at the medications I take and what it is going to cost.  And that is just considering my routine medications and no treatment-type drugs.  I’m not even sure I’ll be able to afford these minimal meds, particularly the pain medication and the new medicine to help with my peripheral neuropathy (PN) - gabapentin (neurontin).  I’ve still got more researching to do, number crunching, etc.  There’s also the Leukemia, Lymphoma Society (LLS) and they have a program that helps Myeloma folks with Co-pays.  I’m going to approach them and get what help I can.  That will help immensely. 

In the meantime, it’s come to me that I must sell something.  I will try to sell either my 5 acres OR my home, whichever sells first I guess.  I’m not sure how to approach this, but I must get into action because before long I’m going to need the cashflow.  Like, if/when the MM starts to act up again. 

This is what I get for living on the edge before I got sick.  Your salary gets cut in half but your expenses and bills remain the same at best, but often increase taking into account medical expenses - whether they be treatment or insurance.  burrrrhhff…exhausting sometimes….

This is where my faith  must kick in.  I start thinkly worldly and I take this on all myself.  Then, when I sit back and remember God, it gets better.  Doesn’t that sound horrible? …’remember God’??  What am I thinking?  I often turn to God first thing in trying times, but there are times like this when I’m caught off guard and I start working on the issue all by myself.  When it gets so overwhelming and I’m at wits end, it comes to me: give it to God!  Aha!  When I truly give it to God, He has never failed me.  Oh, He doesn’t make it easy but he gets me through it.  So I will turn it over to God to help me work out the challenges and expenses of having to go on Medicare and Medicare D.  He will show me what to sell, how, who, and when.  He is already putting the ideas and options in my mind, giving me the wisdom I need.  Thank you, Jesus. 

Regarding Dr. D, thank you Frank and Judy.  Great suggestions and considerations.  I will definitely ask her some questions.  I feel in my heart that I haven’t given her a fair chance.  One meeting is hardly enough, unless she would have given me a very strong message of a definite “no,” and she did not do that.  I sensed she was very intelligent and sort of a perfectionist in her work, which I think accounts for her appearing so driven and perhaps aggressive.  My intimidation with her comes more from hauntings of former Directors or Managers from Sprint.  There were some very driven females that were very difficult to work for/with/around.  I’m just haunted in a way :)))  I’m giving Dr. D, unconsciously, the same labels as many of these former females I encountered in my past just because she shows similar personality traits.  I don’t think she’s that bad.  I will give her the benefit of the doubt.   

I did contact the Facilitator of the Kansas City Meyloma Support group and I asked her about Dr. D and about finding another doctor.  Her response was “Dr. D is the best in Kansas City.”  Hmmm, that is a consideration and at the least grounds to give Dr. D a little more of a chance.  I honestly would not feel right writing her off at this time.  I do like her philosophy of not treating me when it is not necessary.  That is what the former doctors should have done - stopped my treatment a while back to preserve my quality of life AND side effects.  If they had, I would not have neuropathy and myopathy (or whatever it is I have) so bad now. 

I have not heard back from Cindy (Dr. D’s assistant nurse) regarding the colonoscopy as well as several other questions I left on the message.  I’m hoping the message went through as my first message was so long I received that prompted message that tells you your message is too long.  So I pressed the buttons to create a new message.  Once I left the new message I just hung up.  As soon as I hung up I wondered if my new message would go through or if I was supposed to press the # key or something to finalize it.  I’ll followup tomorrow. 

In the meantime, I have several good things I can do to combat this beast.  My diet.  There is something to PH balance.  We should be 80% alkaline and 20% acid but we are usually just the opposite.  I’ve read this in several different books and articles, etc.  One from a female doctor who got cancer, was told there was no hope and to just get ready and die. She changed her diet and she went totally live foods (Vegan) and her cancer is gone.  Without going into a bunch of tangents I don’t even know enough about as it is, I’m just going to look into eating more live food, cleansing (various methods), some supplements & vitamins, exercise, prayer, meditation, sleep, dry brushing, and other items that would help. 

I am going to try to start attending the Myeloma support meetings on the 4th Monday of every month at 7pm.  Dr. D speaks at these functions sometimes…and other places as well.  The only thing is that it’s quite a distance away and I hate to go there when it’s cold and dark and by myself, but I will be a big girl and give myself the big girl talk and do it.  I think by attending these meetings I will learn more and perhaps hear something about another clinic or doctor who treats Myeloma.   

A friend I know who’s a very strong believer, is very much into holistic healing but has learned that she must also apply traditional with her situation has found a Christian doctor.  She has a different type of cancer than I, so her doctor would not be a fit for me.  But that is what I would like to find, a  Christian doctor who specializes in MM.  Now that would surely be a longshot.  My PCP might be able to provide me some ideas, too.  I do like him and he seems to be very unique and not your typical doctor.  Ya know, ultimately, I’m in God’s hands - no matter what doctor I go to.   

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