Cindy’s Multiple Myeloma Blog

Yesterday I got lots of good veggies to eat and juice.  Rather than go to the health food store I decided to go to our local grocery.  I have a love/hate relationship with this store.  Most often the produce is low quality but it was pretty good yesterday.  I got Organic Romaine Hearts, Organic Spinach, Organic cucumbers, both organic and non-organic carrots, one organic avocado and 2 non-organic avocadoes, radishes, organic ex fancy washington apples, bananas, organic pecans, parsley, mung bean sprouts, organic celery, 3 different non-dairy drinks but I didn’t pay attention and I think I got “sweetened” - oh well.  I got a few other healthy things, too.  Oh, there was this Indian bread-like thing…Naan.  I’ve never heard of it but it looked good and I tried it today with a big ole salad I made.  It’s very good - not sure how healthy. 

Yesterday I juiced carrot, spinach, parsley, radish, and cucumber.  I just realized that this store doesn’t have Kale.  I usually have Kale for juicing, as it’s supposedly really good for fighting cancer. 

But what did I do the evening before?? You’re not going to believe this.  I made pie dough and ate it.  Worse yet, I like to dunk it in a mixture of sugar and cinnamon.  But I just like it plain and doughy raw.  What is wrong with me?  Then last night I had these really old chocolate chip cookies with chocolate on one side.  I broke them up in a glass of milk.  I’m really feeding that cancer.  I don’t know what got into me, but I’m moving forward and not going to trip over that lapse.  These cookies were old.  I won’t be doing that very often moving forward as once I eat this old stuff up, I probably won’t buy that junk again.  I usually never did buy junk in the past but since my SCT (stemcell transplant) my appetite and taste has been so weird.  Except for the raw pie dough.  I have always liked that.

I am tempted to erase that previous paragraph, but I am not.  I guess if another MMr falls off the wagon, he or she can see that it happens, but you pick up and move forward with the attitude of eating right. 

On another note, tomorrow night I hope to attend my first RAWKC meeting.  It’s all live foods.  Vegan.  I look forward to seeing what it’s like.  It’s not until 6pm.  I have a 1pm doctor appointment near the area of the meeting.  It’s about 1-hour drive so I don’t really want to drive home and then turn around and go back in a few hours.  It’s too tiring.  I’m tired, so how will I survive tomorrow?  This meeting has a maximum of 80 people.  It has a waiting list.  As of an hour ago, one person canceled and there was room for 1 more person.  I do not feel right to ditch it. What have I got myself into?  Maybe I’ll find a coffee shop or a place to hang out before the meeting where I can sit and rest.  I don’t think I’ll ever plan on attending a 6pm meeting again.  I start gettng so tired by 5:30pm every day.  I will survive.  I will think positive.  Look forward to Friday.  Yes, that is what I will do.  Friday I can rest. 

I got my notice yesterday.  I become eligible for Medicare April 1, 2008.  Yet another expense now.  I will continue my employer insurance but it will be secondary.  They expect you to get Medicare B.  It is $96.40 monthly.  They [former employer] drop prescription coverage but will give me around $43 monthly to go towards Medicare D.  I need to sell something in order to increase my monthly cash flow.  Anyone wanting 5 acres?  ;) 

I still am staying up too late.  When am I going to get some discipline?  I know, only I can answer that one.  Last summer I used to get up at around 6:30pm.  I still stayed up to late but often I went to bed by 10pm.  I eventually started wanting to sleep in later during the fall and I believe that was due to the effects of the medicine plus for some reason this cold weather is really hard on my body.  It just wears me out.  This morning around 9am I was just waking up and giving it a try to wake up when my best friend called.  It was good because it made me get up and around.  I got a few things on my list done but by the time I got to them, it was too late to talk to who I needed to talk to so I had to leave messages.  I need to focus Friday and make my calls and get things done.  Around 4:00pm I was wiped out and rested on the couch.  Finally at around 6:30pm I made myself get my coat and boots on and go give the horses feed and hay and feed the barn cats.  I wasn’t sure I was going to make it.  Then, once I’m out there I do just great and it actually makes me feel better.  I find myself looking for things to do, maybe just to spend more time with the horses?  I mucked some and as I had to lift my legs and sort of march through the muddy pasture to toss the poop I thought how good it was for rebuilding my leg strength.  Carrying the shovel full of  poop was light but good weight-lifting.  I no longer felt guilty for not exercising today.  I actually put on the tights and was going to try to use my treadmill, but never did.  I mucked a pretty good pile of poop; it took at least 15 maybe more trips in and out of the barn.  Mazey, my 8 year old Arab mare, followed me around when I was inside the barn.  She is the cutest and friendliest horse.  She’s a reactive girl; it’s like she’s looking for an excuse to get scared.  A very good prey animal I suppose.  So, while I was dreading having to dress warm and go out to the barn in the drizzly cold tonight, I suppose there was physical and spiritual healing from it.  Plus, I get some kind of satisfaction knowing all my critters are warm and fed.  It’s that mommy-nurturing thing I guess.  As I was leaving and closing the gate I heard that bllluuhh a horse does.  I don’t know what you call it. I don’t think that is called a neigh, but it’s the sound they make, like blubbering lips almost, that means they’re relaxed and OK with things around them. I love that sound. 

That pain on the top of my right shoulder is gone.  That funny spot is there, but I don’t think it has anything to do with Myeloma.  I think that bump is from what I carried for so many years.  But that pain is a weird one.  Hopefully the new doctor tomorrow will have lots of answers. 

Speaking of answers, I need to go make a list of things to ask.  I’m so tired and don’t feel like it, but I must. 

I don’t know who is following this blog, especially those that “know me” (eeekk that feels weird in a way.  I don’t remember who all I told about this and then maybe they told someone else, but I am sort of toying trying yet another blog site.  This other one allows videos and  pictures where this one only allows pictures.  This site is a little more user friendly but perhaps I just haven’t figured the other one out yet.  IF I should decide to use the other blog, I’ll leave a last entry noting the NEW blog site, just like I did last time.  I’m a fickle journal queen, heh?

Filed under: Regular News and