Cindy’s Multiple Myeloma Blog

Yes, it’s a new year and one full of hope.  In my own little world, a hope for healing or at the very least more quality of life and comfort.  But in a bigger perspective, it’s a year of hope for a war won and the right man elected.   But in a more important perspective and much bigger event for 2008, that Lane Kemper Kassel be healthfully, happily, and easily born into this world, unsettled as it is.   My first grandchild, a grandson: Lane.  A fresh and new life born.  What a wonderment. 

I need to start my DVD Diary.  Perhaps this beginning of 2008 will be a good time to start.  I planned on a DVD Diary long before I got cancer, but now it’s even more important.  I want something to leave not only my children, but my grandchildren.  Wouldn’t you love to have a DVD diary from your own mom or dad?  I would.  Now it’s just a matter of learning how to run the darned thing! 

This part of Missouri has been unbelievably cold.  I believe the bitter cold affects my attitude and spirit.  The spring should be a better time.   I’m keeping my focus on Spring and the return of the hummingbirds.  I’m going to fight hard now, but especially in the Spring!

While I continue to experience great pain in the morning, the past two mornings have been much better.  I’d still rate the pain number between a 7 to 9 on a scale of 10, but once I get up and move, it decreases to 5 to 7ish.  I can not think of one reason why; no differences in activity or nutrition.  Prayer maybe?  Very well could be.  I do hope to focus on the Lord’s healing powers more.  I need to receive the prayers for healing for myself that others are doing as well as I need to pray for my own healing!  Sheesh.  It’s like hoping to win the lottery but never buying a ticket!!!   

Tomorrow I have a doctor appointment with my neurologist.  This is my routine check-up to continue the ability to get medicine refills.  I take Axert.   I’ve been dealing with about 4 or 5 migraines a month lately, brought on my sinus pressure.  I understand that with MM one will experience sinus infections more frequently due to immune system suppression. 

Some of my blood counts are moving upwards now that I’m off of the Revlimid, but I’m still low.  I wash my hands often.  I expose myself to infection at church, bible study, and the store a lot, but I think I do pretty well since I try to wash my hands and keep them from my eyes and mouth. 

Yesterday I brought Cody, my fat cat, to the vet.  I’d put him outside back in early October, but when it got so cold, he didn’t seem to be doing so good.  He’s jaundiced now and very sick.  I left him at the vets last night and tonight, too.  They’re watching him and giving him meds plus will bathe him.  His prognosis isn’t very good.  I should not have let him get as fat as he was, nearly 25 pounds!  It’s tough taking care of him with my own weakness.  If he doesn’t get over this, in some ways I hope he peacefully falls asleep to his death rather than me have to make the decision to put him to sleep.   I don’t have the money nor the energy to drag out treating his illness – and sad as that sounds, the same applies to myself!!  Oh my gosh, that is really funny if you think about it.  I know, I’m warped.  But in truth, Heaven will be so much better than the best ever was here on earth! 

Today I went to bible study but came close to skipping due to the cold and wind.   It was a great study and time.  We’re studying Beth Moore’s “Daniel” and it’s very interesting.  In Beth’s video session there are several denominations which I believe makes it more intriguing. 

Kris Carr, who did that documentary and book, Crazy, Sexy, Cancer, has a blog and I read it a bit.  I have her book and need to finish reading it.  She gives lots of insight and advice.  She has an incureable rare cancer and one way she helped herself is to improve her nutrition drastically.  I don’t know if she went completely Vegan or not. 

Errrrggg, I’m toying with that [going Vegan] myself.  If I ever get my finances and everything else settled, IF my life is ever simple, I will focus more on eating primarily “live” foods, i.e. fresh foods. 

You know, I’m only experiencing the consequences of the numerous bad decisions I’ve made throughout my life.  Do I think I’m being punished?  Heck NO!  Just consequences, my friends, consequences.  Some of us get by with bad decisions, but not often.  They usually catch up.  I should be in a better financial situation than I am.  Most certainly my diet, my lack of rest, the stress I allowed and did not handle well, all the chances I took with my body plus other life experiences have affected my physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional well being. 

God is using me.  I have faith that He will get me through this one way or another.  He may even heal me.  The fat lady has not sung yet.  But no matter the outcome, no matter the journey, no matter the pain, no matter the anything, this is one good journey. 

 I will end this post with a picture of Cody.  He has a way of looking all comfy when he sleeps.  

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